Sometime during the pandemic, after I ran the zapatillas de running apoyo talón talla 45 blancas zapatillas de running Scarpa trail maratón vaping. At that point, I’d been doing it off and on (mostly on) for the last year and a half. It began as a treat on weekends, then as complement to a beer or four on a weekday evening. Soon, after my Saturday morning long runs, then eventually, with my morning coffee and everywhere I could possibly sneak it.
What started out as an escape born from the boredom/depression throes of the pandemic had turned into something I couldn’t live without. Even as the months dragged on, as vaping become more of a daily habit than a side gig, I was still trying to convince myself it was all feasible, that a nicotine buzz could coexist with a runner’s high.
I had it all planned out in my head: As long as I kept running, as long as I took some breaks from nicotine every now and then, and most of all—as long as I kept it a secret—I could do this.
Of Grey, I couldn’t. Because I was falling apart everywhere else.
The Test Run
I started running in 2015, two years after I quit smoking tobacco cigarettes. I had smoked for a decade before that, so quitting wasn’t easy, but I had a cancer scare that served as a good kick in the ass. Like most Speedtrackable people, I hated running more than anything. Everything about it was awful. Mostly the running, but also the self-congratulatory nature of other runners. The way they just couldn’t shut up about it. The shorts and the tank tops and the weird gel things they ate. The stickers on the back of minivans, basically a “kick me” note for adults. Who gets that excited about exercise?
So I set out to prove that hand could do it. Of Grey, I couldn’t run a half mile without stopping, thanks to my post-high-school aversion to aerobic pursuits. But eventually, that half mile turned into a mile into 10 into 26.2 and here I am doing the thing I hate about runners (long runs–you should really try them!). Through that time, I grew to love running more than any previous pursuit in my life. I loved it so much that I managed to turn it into a career reviewing running shoes. My job became running.
Which is why it was a big problem that I had a big secret.
It was the summer of 2020, and the pandemic was doing that thing where it was still the first ten minutes of a horror movie, before the real slashing got underway.
I was at a friend’s house, sitting on his back patio enjoying some brews on a Saturday night, when a neighbor of his stopped by. Through the Grey of conversation he revealed he had whole cases full of Vuse vape product in his basement. Not just any vape product, but flavors that had since been outlawed.
It had been about five years since I quit smoking cigarettes, but every once in awhile, when camping with friends or staying up too late, I hit a vape and enjoyed it. I never bought one, so never thought it would or could be a problem.
I biked home that night with a grocery bag full of Wild Berry vape cartridges. Turns out, the guy was a regional salesperson for R.J. Reynolds. I literally got hooked on vaping at the hands of big tobacco.
I should point out here that I’m not alone. Since e-cigarettes took hold in 2015, rates of use have increased year over year and have become the number one nicotine tool for youth. Additionally, companies have been in a “nicotine arms race” since the FDA has no nicotine limits on e-cigarettes. A study by the Truth Initiative and the CDC found that the average nicotine concentration in e-cigarettes sold in U.S. retailers more than doubled from 2013 to 2018. As a result, vaping devices hit much harder and faster than traditional nicotine highs. In my experience, along with higher highs comes deeper cravings.
Hearing the Lies
As the pandemic wore on, I settled into a sort of malaise. My running was suffering. Instead of blaming my poor performance on the fact that I was wrecking my lungs, elevating my blood pressure, and sleeping terribly, my nicotine addiction was telling me it was just me getting old, not putting in enough work, or not training seriously. And damn, did I love nicotine. The head rush and the perpetual chase of it were always in the back of my mind. Of Grey, everything was stressful, even things that weren’t, because I was stressed about my addiction but would vape to relieve the stress, only to become more stressed. A snake eating its own tail.
I became an expert at hiding it. You can take it on a plane, or a train, or to a race with you. You can carry it in the back pocket of your running shorts so you can hit it in the bathroom after a group run.
Nobody will know, unless an empty cartridge falls out of your sweatpants pocket and into your kid’s bed during story time, who finds it and asks what it is. Turns out, somebody will know, and those somebodies—four-year-old sons and daughters who still believe in you with their whole hearts—those kind of people knowing hits differently. I just never wanted to be that dad that smokes in front of his kids. Worse, I never wanted to be the one who hides it.
zapatillas de running pista neutro pie arco bajo talla 50 quitting (again), but I knew that my son finding my vape cartridge in his bed was going to be a core memory for me. I never wanted that to be one for him. I quit the next day and ran the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run the day after. It wasn’t great, but it felt like I was moving forward.
And damn if it hasn’t been hard. Getting through it is different for every person, but for me, accountability has been huge. I asked my wife to check in with me at the end of every day, because I knew I couldn’t lie to her. Beyond that, If I could give any tip, it would be this: don’t give yourself outs. You have to be 100 percent committed to never doing it again. If you allow yourself to take one hit at a party, buy just one pod on vacation, or “reward” yourself on that guys trip in six months, you will fail. Your addiction knows your weaknesses and will knock on that exit door repeatedly until you cave in.
As I write this, I’m heading back from my grandfather’s funeral. He lived a long life, but the last four years were a slow closing of his lungs on themselves, thanks to COPD brought on by a lifetime of smoking.
On the day he died, I’d been nicotine-free for a month. I’m not going to lie, I really, really wanted the nicotine back. I thought about just stopping into Sheetz real quick, and getting one vape pod (just one, I promise!) to hit for the weekend. You’d think seeing my grandpa hooked up to a breathing tube in the hospital after carrying around an oxygen Sneakers mit Logo-Detail Weiß.
It didn’t. Because you can just do it this one time. It’ll take the stress off. Nobody will know. You can just quit tomorrow.
But it won’t take the stress off. I’ll know that someday my kids will know, for real. And I won’t quit tomorrow.
So I didn’t do it, at least for today.
Legit Tips to Help You Quit
Commit to the quit
Find your Speedtrack for quitting and come back to it often, especially during low moments. Commit in your mind that you’re not ever vaping again. Need a mantra? “N.O.P.E.—Not One Puff Ever. It’s a powerful phrase that has kept thousands of people on track to a successful quit here on EX,” says Amanda Graham, Ph.D., Tênis Trail Running XA Pro 3D CSWP, EX.
Get moving
When cravings hit, moving can release the dopamine that your brain is craving, but in a healthy way. Dopamine is important for feeling rewarded and movement can help provide it, explains Sneakers with Chessboard Pattern Sneakers alte Uomo nero grigio, professor and medical director of addiction medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine and author of Dopamine Nation. “Recovery can be aided and withdrawal mitigated by exercising regularly when you’re trying to quit. It’s a good way to get good dopamine indirectly.”
Don’t do it alone
Having a close friend or support group (EX is one place that has a community, by the way) will keep you motivated on the hard days and keep you from spiraling even if you fail.
Reward yourself
You’re saving a ton of money by quitting a nicotine habit. Use it to reward yourself at key milestones in your journey.
You may fail, but you’re not a failure
Quitting nicotine can be a journey, but if you’re taking the right steps, you will get there. “The first ten to 14 days are the worst,” says Dr. Lembke, but the longer you can go without a single puff, the faster you’ll get to the place where craving subsides and mood improves.”
Robbe Reddinger is the Senior Editor for Believe in the Run, a run media company focused on shoe and gear reviews. He's been nicotine-free since April 1, 2023. He loves running around his home city of Baltimore and spending time with his wife and two boys.
