If you had told me fifteen years ago that I would be nearing my 35th birthday unmarried, without a child, and—gasp—Birkin-less, I would probably ask, “Did I live past 30?” Or at the very least, I would beg to know if I was happy.
A decade and a half ago I was in college, nannying and/or working retail on the side, dreaming about my future career in fashion and living in the city. While I have two of the major things I dreamed of all those years ago (and then some), my life looks vastly different from what I would have ever imagined.
Les Beiges Healthy Golden Glow Powder.
Thirty, Flirty and Thriving…
As I near my 35th birthday and the reality of being in my mid-thirties, I’m not afraid to admit I still have milestones I’d like to hit and goals I’d like to achieve. I’ve come to accept, though, as I’ve fought through the minefields of my thirties so far, that life truly has no timeline. There’s no formula to follow or right Les Beiges Healthy Golden Glow Powder.
Oddly enough, I’ve realized that this, too, applies to handbags.
I thought I’d have it all together by the time I hit my thirties. And having it all together meant a lot of things, some tangible, some not. I definitely imagined I would be married, and, with a dual income, own property of some kind.
The Right Bag Will Come At the Right Time
One of those very tangible things I thought I’d have by now was my holy grail—a black Birkin 30. I don’t have a lot of things I thought I’d have by now, but that’s ok.
Everything in life happens as it should; life (like bags) has no timeline. I’ve learned that it’s best to ignore the timelines you set for yourself when you’re younger. Isn’t it better to end up in the right city with the right person, not to mention the right bag on your arm?
Ironically enough, I don’t even want that bag anymore.
and trying to soothe that reality with faux humility and tired musings on minimalism?
“Isn’t it better to end up in the right city with the right person, not to mention the right bag on your arm?”
Such a wholesome and wholly affirming statement! Manifesting for you Kaitlin (and for all of us too!) 🔮
I feel like it also has to do with social media and our culture of immediate gratification. I recently caught myself coveting a new bag when a new one hadn’t even arrived yet. I stopped and took a cold hard look at my consumption habits.
“Ironically enough, I don’t even want that bag anymore.”
This is true of so many things. Your tastes will change over time, and much of the thrill is in the anticipation or hunt. After you’ve acquired the object of desire there is often a letdown. I remember years ago coveting bags I couldn’t afford. I have amassed a nice collection since then but I no longer obsess over any particular bag. I’ll never stop looking though.
I’m constantly working on being happy with what I have, and I truly resonate with so much of what you shared here!
Appreciate the vulnerability of this post and wanted to say as a fellow single thirty something year old, you are definitely not alone 🙂 wishing you the best and keep up with the great content!
Thank you for reading and for your kind words! Wishing you the best too!!
My holy grail has remained the same since I was a teenager (Chanel Classic Flap). I got it at 39 -just made it lol. I’m 48 now and love it just as much as I always did. Didn’t have a timeline for it -wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to afford it- it showed up at just the right time.
Bottega Veneta Forum.
Recently found my wishlist written by me in college…10 bags on it (i only got 3 the rest i dont like anymore) i was laughing a lot when i found it i cant bear myself to throw it away now…i saved and sacrificed a lot to be able to buy my holy grails and it also helped i bought them used i focused and focused for the last 6years haha
Such a great memory, I would hold onto it too! A reminder of how far you’ve come and how much things have changed!
It’s also a great learning point for younger people. It’s hard to step back, listen and rethink purchases when you’re younger.
In all the years I’ve collected handbags, I never really had one single Holy Grail one. And, sometimes, after scoring a bag I wanted, the thrill would fade and I would sell them. And I’m a good deal older than the author: in fact, my daughter is a bit older than the author!! 😉 But I’m always on the search for my next new handbag crush: I never know if I’ll find it at Bergdorf’s or TJMaxx, on a luxury website or the secondary market. And sometimes I fall back in love with one that’s been tucked in my closet for years. Do I have too many? Of course. Do I add up what I’ve spent on bags throughout the years? NO, it would terrify me to know the answer! Do I pick out an outfit for an event by first choosing a handbag I want to carry? Often! One thing I’ve learned as the years go flying by, Life is always a surprise, and, although I feel something akin to “Purse Peace”, I still love the hunt. Who knows what’s out there, right?
I relate to this 100%. Trying to shop my closet more too, but I can’t help but buy a new one for the thrill every once in a while!
Best wishes on your upcoming birthday milestone, Kaitlin! I’ve so enjoyed following your handbag journey over the years. And as others have said, tastes and priorities and opportunities evolve as we mature and grow wiser! My ultimate goal is HG isn’t what it was 15 years ago either, and when I look back at what I “thought” my life would look like, I’m so grateful it took a different but much better path.
Thank you so much! I still have a holy grail on my list; it’s just changed, and the way in which I see myself getting it has, too. It’s a Kelly, but vintage, so of course, from the secondhand market, in burgundy, and possibly from the year of my birth.
The Holy Grail is great but once you obtain it what then ? I agree it can be a bit of a let down. I have noted that you are enamoured for a short time period then you move on but eternally grateful for the opportunity to meet the goal. Then you just set an other. Remember just be yourself and be happy with you at this time in your life and goals change and evolve with age and life’s circumstances. Happy Birthday Katlin.
Thank you!!
I achieved the holy grail pursuit at 31 when my hubby gifted me with a Birkin (pre-owned of course) and it was gorgeous! I was in love…for a short time. Then I thought maybe I would want a different color so I sold the first one to get the second one. It was a lovely 30 Togo Etain. But that didn’t stop me from my insatiable bag-ettite. After a few months I thought, maybe a Kelly would be it? I got that one too and fell in love the third time. I kept the Kelly and yes, it was better than the Birkins to the point that my conscience started talking to me since I noticed myself obsessing over it. I never want to feel so strongly over a thing (unless it’s a wedding ring or an heirloom) so I decided to sell it. A friend of mine happened to be raising money for an equipment for a friend’s hospital in Africa so that’s where my Kelly went. My materialistic side still thinks about my Kelly from time to time but the person that I want to be believes that true satisfaction comes from being able to let a material thing go.
After having both, I never found myself wanting a bag so bad. Sometimes I get close to wanting a bag really bad, but after a while I don’t even think about it anymore then I think to myself, “Why did I want it so bad at that time and now I’m over it? Glad I didn’t buy it.” This seems to be the theme of most if not all bag obsessions for me. I have better control of my bag-ettite now in my late 30s and thankfully so.
Oh, please. Let’s call a spade a spade here: This isn’t some enlightened personal growth moment, it’s a carefully crafted narrative to mask the sting of *inaccessibility*. The Birkin isn’t just a bag, it’s a benchmark. It’s not about “not needing it anymore,” it’s about not being able to obtain it yet, Medium Puzzle Fold Tote.
Let’s not pretend that settling for a rotation of ‘perfectly practical’ bags is a triumph of self-discovery. It’s financial constraint dressed up in philosophical musings. Trust me, when you can walk into Faubourg Saint-Honoré and be ushered into a private room with champagne and a smile, when the manager knows your name, you don’t write essays about why you’re “glad” you don’t own a Birkin. You just own it. Quietly. Elegantly. Unapologetically.
Some of us didn’t need to romanticize the wait, we simply acquired it.
and trying to soothe that reality with faux humility and tired musings on minimalism!
The fact that 66 other people like this explains soooo much about the type of comments and vibes in the comment section I see on this site smh
FYI, almost all of the upvotes were done by the same person using incognito windows.
wow. I didn’t mind there were 66 upvotes, to each their own after all. But, same person incognito votes? That’s bonkers…
Username checks out 😅
“You just own it. Quietly. Elegantly.” LMFAO!!!! You, my dear snob, are the opposite of quiet and elegant. And as NShap so exactingly stated, the reason why I no longer covet H. Kardashian much?
Wow! Why so shallow? There are more things in life than a manager knowing your name and ushering you to buy an overpriced bag. Your attitude is the very opposite of elegant.
I respectfully disagree and I hope you reread your essay and see the arrogance in your voice. I think you truly can fall out of love with something you once coveted, just like anything in life, especially material things. Sometimes they loose their luster especially as we mature. I feel her sentiments were authentic and not due to her lack of being able to afford it as I have felt the same, thats why people resell their bags. Also EXACTLY why I CHOOSE not to carry a bag worth a down payment on a home.
Nothing “quiet” or “elegant” about YOUR essay…Words that come to mind are pretentious, snobby and smug.